She knew what was happening was wrong, that she should turn back. Yet, she wanted this so much.
Softly she got out of bed, careful not to wake her sleeping husband. Her husband, what would he think of her? How can she do this? What would he say to her if he woke? How would she explain leaving at 4:30 in the morning?

No...she couldn't think of that now. The pull of her desire was to strong for her to resist. Quietly, she removed her night gown; replacing it with slacks and a comfy green shirt. She threw on some shoes, grabbed her keys and purse, and headed down the stairs. As she tip-toed cautiously down the stairs, remembering not to step on the noisy one, she could feel her heart pounding with excitement and guilt.

When she got to the car, she hesitated. Am I really going to do this, she thought. For a moment, she almost went back inside; back to her loving husband. Instead, she opened the car door and got inside. After all, she may love her husband, but this love affair had been around long before him.

Cranking the car, she prayed that he wouldn't wake until she had returned. Leaving the headlights off, so not to wake him,she pulled out of the driveway and onto the road.

Twenty minutes later she turned into her destination. Now she waited; this was the truly hard part. She could go up to the door now, but what good would that do her. No, she had to wait until the light was turned on. That's when she knew it was time.

As she waited in the car, unable to make herself turn on the radio, her mind wandered back to the first time. How long ago it had been, and still she was powerless towards her desires. Sure, when she was young she could get away with it; never thinking of the consequences. But now, she was in her thirties. She couldn't keep doing this.

She cranked the car, put it into gear, and started to drive away. Then it happened; the light. Before she knew what she was doing, she was halfway to the door. Pure desire overcame her. She was there, and nothing was going to get in her way; nothing could. Reaching out her hand, she opened the door and walked in; into the home of her deepest and darkest love.

There he was, wearing that hat he always wore. She walked across the room, towards his warm and friendly smile. All her cares melted away; her life, her job, her family, even her husband. They were all gone, and all that was left was desire.

When she reached him, he said the one thing to her that she so desperately needed to hear..................................



"Welcome to Krispy Kreme! What can I get for you this morning?"





Let me know what you think please.

So, first off this blog is partially for my friend Daniel. He told me that I needed to write in my blog again, but I said that I didn't have anything to say at the moment. He proceeded to ask if he wasn't worth a blog. LOL. My friends are such dorks, but I love them all.
So, Daniel is a pretty cool individual. I say this because he and I are a lot alike. He likes Veggietales and I like Veggietales; he likes fantasy, and I like fantasy; he likes to read, and I like to read. However, we do have our differences, the biggest one being that he thinks the red power ranger Jason was the coolest, and I think Tommy the green power ranger was. But I can get over that. lol Daniel, I hope this satisfies your desire to be in my blog.

Nothing much has really been going on in my life other than working and reading. I have been reading a book by Walter Moers called "The City of Dreaming Books." I have enjoyed the book, however it's a slow story and it's taking me a bit longer to finish than normal. It really is a good book, I just don't think it was what I wanted to read. However, I decided to finish it no matter what and not to start another one until I do. Moers is a good author, his descriptions are pretty amazing. He can really make me feel like I am right there in the story.

Well, I think that's all I really have to say at the moment. Sorry this was such a shallow and about nothing blog. I will try to come back and write more often, I've just been having a difficult time thinking of things to write about.

Until Next Time

OK. Here is another short story that just popped into my head when I got home. I'm not sure where the inspiration for this one came from, but I enjoyed seeing it play out in my head. I just hope that I conveyed it well enough. Let me know what you think. And yes, it is a really really short story.




Her reflection in the lake gave off a sadness, a burden, that flowed from her soul. No one knew this spot but her, and she wasn't going to tell anyone anytime soon. Here she could be herself, not the image they saw, but her true self.

She sat on a rock looking out over the water, her knees to her chest. From a distance, she would be almost impossible to see; her green dress blending her to the surroundings. She always wore green when she came here, it was her favorite color.
As the wind blew she closed her eyes, absorbing its touch and greeting it as the old friend that it was. She could feel the heartbeat of everything around her; the wind, the water, the trees, even the earth itself. It was a part of her, as she was a part of it.
She stood, letting her bare feet connect with the earth, with herself. The earth was solid and strong, and right now she was not. It poured that strength into her, replenishing her soul, and she gladly consumed every bit.
Time was running out. She knew she would have to leave soon, but not yet, she couldn't leave yet, she wasn't ready. A voice whispered on the wind, "It's time."
"Give me just a little longer, I need just a little more time. I can't go yet."
The voice waited.
"Thank you." she said, her own voice soft and frail.
Closing her eyes, she raised her head toward the sun. She felt it's fire course through her veins, renewing the passion inside her again. Slowly, she walked forward. After three steps she could the cool water on her feet. She waded out until the water was just above her waist, her arms stretched out to the side. She placed her hands on the top of the water.
Nothing meant more to her here than the water. The wind gave her comfort; the earth, strength; the sun, passion; but the water, it gave her so much more. It gave her patience, stamina, power, and most importantly, it gave her life. The life she so desperately wanted, needed.
Eyes still closed, she continued out farther into the lake. Soon she was completely submerged, and yet still she walked, continually consuming it's life giving force. She would not drown, she couldn't, she was a part of it.
"Mrs. Johnson? Mrs. Johnson, it's time."
She opened her eyes; the familiar smiling face of Nurse Jean standing at the foot of her bed.
"Sarah, they can't wait any longer. They need to get you in for your Chemo. It's your last treatment! Are you ready?" her smile turning into a beautiful grin of delight for her friend.
She took a breath, remembered where she had been, and smiled, "I'm ready, Jean."

This is a really short story that just kind of popped into my head when I got on here to blog. So, I thought I would write it on here. It's just a quick one. Let me know what you think, even suggestions would be great. Enjoy.



As she walked to the window, lightning flashed and not a second later thunder cracked. She didn't get startled, how could she? Nothing could shake her, not anymore. Seeing what she had seen, being where she had been; nothing could make her jump, not really.
The rain was falling hard, she couldn't even see the magnolia tree in her front yard. The storm was a bit of a surprise to everyone, even to the local weatherman, but not to her; nothing was ever a surprise to her, not completely. She liked storms, they made her feel in tune with her surroundings; mental clarity from chaos. Mental clarity, she always has it, but chaos seems to enhance it even more.
She knew tonight was going to be different somehow, something was coming. Though she didn't know what it was, not completely, she knew it was important, and it was coming to her.
The tea went down with a warmth that flowed all the way to her toes. She took another sip, letting it caress her tongue before she swallowed. The storm wasn't slowing down; it seemed like it never would. She turned and walked to the kitchen, knowing . She got to it just as the first ring started, "Hello David."
"You know it freaks me out when you do that Tera."
She knew he hated it, but she always did it. It, amused her.
"I guess this means you know why I'm calling?" he said without his usual half laugh.
"You know I don't. I just know it's not good." He always assumed that she knew everything, but no one can know everything; no person anyway. After four years, she thought he would understand more than he did, or at least that.
"So, what is it David? There's a lot on my mind tonight, and I don't have the patience for your normal games." She could hear him stiffen with offence.
"What's got you in such a mood? Are you.."
"No, it is not that time. Like I said, just a lot on my mind tonight." She hated that he always thought she had to be going through PMS to be snappy at him. "He doesn't understand, how can he, he's not like me." she thought. "So, what is it David?"
He clears his throat, "Somethings going on." his voiced changed, he was being serious, she knew that can't be good. He was silent, she couldn't hear him breathing, and she could always hear him breathing. She sat down at her table and closed her eyes, preparing. "David?"
"It's Clair, she was attacked."
"What? Attacked?" How could this be, she hadn't known.
"She's in the hospital. They have her in the ICU, but they think she'll make it."
How could she not know, this wasn't possible.
"David, how?"
"We're not sure. She had enough strength to call 911, but they say she never said anything. So, they sent an officer over and he found her. She had been cutup pretty bad." He was silent again; it felt like forever before he asked the question she knew he would.
"Tera, are you telling me you didn't know? I mean, Clair was a level 3, and your friend. How could you not know? You're a level 5, Tera! What's going on?" He almost sounded angry, like it was her fault. Maybe it was. She sat there, quiet. How could she answer what she didn't know.
"David, I'm sorry but I really didn't know." Her voice cracked trying to understand "I'm not sure why, but I didn't." Her tears fell onto the table, just like the rain on the sidewalk.

The flash wasn't lightning. It wasn't even really a flash, more like a visible click. She raised her head, fear filling her. "David, we need to check on Collin and Morgan, they've been attacked too."
"What? Are you sure? Of course you're sure, this is you we're talking about. Alright, I'll call the office and have them get over there."
She listened as he called and told them about Collin and Morgan. They were level 4's, and yet she didn't know they had been attacked, not until after it happened. How was this happening? She should have known.
"OK, they're on their way. I think they'll make it to them in time."
"David," she said with a quiet firmness "you don't understand. It's already to late, they're... dead." She could feel his shock, even through the phone.
"What? Tera, how do you know they are already dead, but you didn't know they were being attacked? Tera, what's going on?"
"I don't know! Something is... something is happening to me David. I should have known...or I should have heard them. David...I-I don't know what's happening. I mean I really don't know." For the first time since she was a child, she was afraid, even he knew it.
"It's gonna be OK Tera. We'll figure this out, I promise."
FLASH
Fear overwhelmed her; she was next.
"David, it's coming here. It's after me!" She got to her feet and grabbed a knife from the knife block.
"What? I'm on my way, stay on the phone and inside."
FLASH
"It's to late David, it's here. David it's here! David...David!? Are you there?" Silence. She didn't see that, how did she not see that?
FLASH! CRACK!
She jumped.

This is just a test to see if i can write blogs from my new phone.

I am the kind of person that can just let things go. People can talk bad about me and I am fine; I may have a moment, but I am soon fine. I can let things go, I can move on. However, sometimes things just get to me and I feel like I have to do something. Just like my mother, when something gets to me and I feel I need to prove a point, I will go all out and stop at nothing to prove it. When I was younger my mother was a school bus driver. She had this kid who was making a ruckus on the bus. She told him that she was fed up with it and that if he didn't behave she was going to kick him off the bus and make him walk home. He said "You can't do that, you'll get fired." She told him "You're right, I would get fired, but you would still walk home and I would have a nice talk with your mother later." And boy did she mean it. Needless to say the kid calmed down. But that's what I am talking about, she would have done it to prove her point and I am the same way. Granted, I have never had to do anything extreme to prove my point, but I still have done it. All this said, I am at a place where I have to prove a point. I have decided that I am going to do whatever it takes for it to happen. Let me say that I am not going to tell you what the point is, or who it's about. I don't feel that is information I need to share with everyone. Yes, this point is toward a specific person, but it's also toward what and who they represent. I know this may seem immature or shallow, but it doesn't matter. I am done with it and I am going to make it happen; my mothers stubbornness is a powerful and unstoppable thing.

There are few words that I can say for this. Just click on the link below and be prepared.

Susan Boyle

This song is from the musical Wicked. It means a lot to me, so I thought I would share it, though most of you already know it.



GLINDA
(spoken) Elphaba - why couldn't you have stayed calm for
once, instead of flying off the handle!
(sung) I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever!

ELPHABA
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy, too
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition

BOTH
So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now

GLINDA
(spoken) Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry:
(sung) You can still be with the Wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted:

ELPHABA
(spoken) I know:
(sung) But I don't want it -
No - I can't want it
Anymore:

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

GLINDA
Can't I make you understand?
You're having delusions of grandeur:

ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down:
(spoken) Glinda - come with me. Think of what we could
do: together.

(sung) Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been
Glinda -
Dreams, the way we planned 'em

GLINDA
If we work in tandem:

BOTH
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I
Defying gravity
With you and I
Defying gravity

ELPHABA
They'll never bring us down!
(spoken) Well? Are you coming?

GLINDA
I hope you're happy
Now that you're choosing this

ELPHABA
(spoken) You too
(sung) I hope it brings you bliss

BOTH
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy, my friend:

ELPHABA So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!

GLINDA
I hope you're happy!

CITIZENS OF OZ
Look at her, she's wicked!
Get her!

ELPHABA
:Bring me down!

CITIZENS OF OZ
No one mourns the wicked
So we've got to bring her

ELPHABA
Ahhh!

CITIZENS OF OZ
Down!

Strength has been a continuing topic in my life here lately. A friend and I got into a conversation not long ago about me being a strong person. I have never really seen this in my self, but the more he talked the more I thought "That's not being a strong person, that's just doing what you have to do." Later, my mother and I were talking, and I told her that she is a strong person. She didn't believe me, but it was true. The funny thing is, I told her the same thing he told me; she then told me the same thing I told him, that it's just what you have to do. It was very funny to me. Then, I talked with Melissa about being a strong person (she wrote a bit about it in her blog). I asked her when I became one. She talked with me about it for a while. Now today, I talked with my adviser and they asked me "What are you strengths?". I know this is a different kind of strength than previously, but it's still interesting to me that it keeps coming up. When my adviser asked me this I was stunned; I had no idea what to say, because I have no idea what my strengths are. I decided that I really wanted to know my strengths, so I got on facebook and emailed several different people in my life. Everything from long time friends, to new friends, to work friends. I asked them to help me learn my strengths. So far, the replies have been interesting.
I feel that part of growing as a person requires you to know your strengths, that way you can focus them and have them work for you. So, I am asking that anyone who reads this, and knows me, to let me know what you think my strengths are. If you have already done this threw facebook, then please just disregard it. I am not doing this to help me boost my ego, I am just really interested in what my strengths really are.